Curs'ed Commuter

A Birthday Message From A Queen

Firstly, thank you to my family and friends for all your birthday wishes. You are most kind. Most of you.

As I sit in our gracious drawing room staring out at the snowy vista, I look back in fondness to all the fun and laughs the last year has brought to my life. It has truly been an annus inebriari.

I look forward to spending the next year with all of you. May our days be joyous and serve only to provide us all with more precious memories.

Much love. Let’s all be careful out there. Doctor Sheldon Cooper.

Jack

He stood at the entrance to His hovel and uttered a chuckle into the darkness. For ‘twas finally His time. And so, brushes and silvered paints in hand, He set out into the depths of the night, His breath hanging in the frigid winters air. And He commenced His work and painted every surface He should find with the delicate patterns He knew so well. He whirled through the sleepy villages and towns leaving no surface untouched, even the vast church windows becoming crazed with His intricate silver filigree. And as the sun began to rise he stood exhausted and surveyed His handiwork. And He did utter another deep chuckle. For once again the whole of the lands should come to know the name Jack.

15-Oct-13 0827

And the Sabbath did pass with great haste and Monday did arrive. And those curs’ed commuters were torn remorselessly from their their slumber. For their toil did await. And they arrived at the station and stood in the drizzle as they patiently awaited the train of the Country Crossed. And they paced back and forth, to and fro, the minutes dissected by the grand mechanical hourglasses high above. And they did long for their day of toil to pass as swiftly as the Sabbath. For the arms of their loved ones did await them.

10-Oct-12 0822

And, lo, the Day of the Hump was declared across the realm. And those curs’ed commuters gathered under the steely grey skies to await the Virgin, glad that they were nearly halfway through their week of toil. And they were overjoyed that the portents of the Writings on the Wall did come to pass and their conveyance was on time. All safely on board they set off and immediately ground to a halt. And those exasperated, wretched commuters shall be once again late for their toil. And they did curse the fateful celestial bodies which had forsaken them.

09-Oct-12 0822

And, lo, Tuesday did arrive. And the glorious sun did shine down upon those patient curs’ed commuters awaiting the arrival of the Virgin. The mantra of the Great Voice in the Sky did echo around the station as it brought unto them joyous portents of trains on time. And with a few minutes to spare they enjoyed the crisp autumnal morn, the crimson and bronze trees the herald of the changing seasons marching t’wards winter. And they were overjoyed. For the signs did come to pass and they boarded their conveyance. For there is no time to enjoy the wonders of nature whilst their toil did await them.

08-Oct-12 0814

The clamour of alarms across the realm did herald the lamented arrival of Monday. And that oh so curs’ed commuter dashed from his home to begin the long journey t’ward his toil. And he did wait impatiently for the infernal omnibus of the Realms Expresses. And waiting was the order of the morn. For the seconds passed to minutes and no amount of pacing to and fro was to elicit the damned conveyances arrival. Waiting, endless waiting, eternal waiting. And ‘twas to be yet another morn when the air shall be verily turned blue.

04-Oct-12 0822

The infernal omnibus of the Realms Expresses dawdled through the streets, those wretched and oh so curs’ed commuters muttering and furiously checking their timepieces. The seconds dragged into minutes and the damned conveyance finally drew up to the station, passengers dashing forth and panic ensuing. For true to the Laws of the Sod, they were late and the Virgin was on time. They scrambled up the stairs and ran down to their platform where they did see their conveyance disappear into the distance. And they did utter such obscenity they did verily turn the air blue.

03-Oct-12 0827

And the Day of the Hump was hailed across the realm. And the curs’ed commuters did wait patiently for the train of the Country Crossed. And they were overjoyed by the portents of trains on time brought unto them by the Great Voice in the Sky. And those portents did come to pass. But what calamity, their train did bring great commotion unto their morn. For a fellow traveller was summarily extracted from the carriage and separated from his repast of ale by the Centurions of the Laws. And those commuters had never heard such obscenity, and did watch with much consternation as the reveller lurched and slurred his way t’wards justice. And sobriety.

02-Oct-12 0825

And, lo, Tuesday did follow Monday. And those curs’ed commuters arrived from miles around to await the arrival of the Virgin. And they were forsaken. For the Writings on the Wall did declare that all trains shall be delayed. So those poor, wretched commuters did join the masses on the platforms, muttering great obscenity and bemoaning their fate. And they did beseech the Master of the Times for a train. Any train. But, alas, the Keepers of the Signals Red shall prevail. And they shall be late for their toil once again.

25-Sep-12 0822

And, lo, Tuesday did arrive. And the curs’ed commuters were once again astounded. For the portents of the Writings on the Wall were favourable. And they stood in the frigid air of the autumnal morn and waited patiently for their conveyance. And they were glad that the Mother of Nature had relented and the tempests had passed. For none had dared imagine how late an ark would deliver them unto their toil.

21-Sep-12 0818

And, lo, the glory of Friday was heralded across the lands. And those oh so weary, curs’ed commuters did thank their fateful celestial bodies that the Sabbath was nigh. And they did stand patiently awaiting the Virgin, the mechanical monotone of the Great Voice in the Sky echoing around the platform as it made promises of trains on time. And the assembled masses did guffaw at the thought that the Fat Controller should run his trains to time. And they did then verily fall to the ground in astonishment. For their conveyance was not on time. It was early.

17-May-12 0822

And the curs’ed commuters arrived at the station and were overjoyed. For the Virgin was on time and had arrived already, waiting patiently for the weary travellers to join the masses already on board. Taken completely by surprise, the astounded crowds crossed the shining silver lines of steel so straight and true hurriedly and boarded the train. But what calamity did befall those most wretched of commuters. For the normal order of their morn was shattered. And a fellow weary traveller had stolen their seat. And much consternation and anger did ensue as they ran back and forth through the train in search of some comfort on their journey t’ward their toil. But alas, they should be unsuccessful in their vain attempts and should have to stand. And they did despair.

16-May-12 0827

And lo, the Day of the Hump did arrive. And the curs’ed commuter dashed through the concourse and exclaimed in frustration. For he was late. And for once the Keepers of the Signals Green, abiding in their tower, had prevailed and the Virgin was on time. And as the infernal conveyance disappeared into the distance he scowled at the Writings on the Wall and made his way over the shining silver lines of steel so straight and true to await the train of the Country Crossed. And should he be so inclined, he would wager that the Keepers of the Signals Red would not relent again this morn. And he would have been right. For the Great Voice in the Sky did announce that his train should be delayed. And he did despair.

09-May-12 0827

And lo, the Bank Holiday Sabbath did pass so terribly swiftly. And in the blink of an eye, the morn did arrive and the week of toil did await. And the curs’ed commuter did cling on for dear life as the omnibus hurtled through the streets with no care for the rules of the Centurions of the Law. Arriving at the station, he careered through the concourse, arms flailing and paying no heed to the dawdlers and wanderers he scattered in his wake. For he was late. Cursing the stragglers in front of him, he pushed through the crowds and dodged the wheeled suitcases of frustration and threw himself onboard the train as the klaxons of the doors chimed in response to the whistles of the Master of the Times. Prostrate on the floor, he did thank his fortuitous celestial bodies that the week of toil should be blessedly short.

04-May-12 0825

And the curs’ed commuter arrived at the station. Unsurprised by the dire portents of the Writings on the Wall, he crossed the shining silver lines of steel so straight and true and joined the crowds waiting impatiently. And with one chapter of his life of toil drawing to a close, he chuckled quietly as he contemplated the chapter which now lay afore him. Studying the drawn, weary faces of his fellow commuters, he pondered what in their life did cause the expressions of frustration on their faces. He shrugged aside the maudlin thoughts, chuckled again and grinned. For the long Bank Holiday Sabbath was nigh. And he did plan much festivity and frivolity to celebrate.